Last week was crazy... Let me enlighten you as to whats going on in my life. I'm a struggling photographer, I'm an angry bartender, I've been the worse boyfriend in the world, and just recently, I've become a proud parent of a beautiful little girl. As i stated in my last entry I just had a gallery/show opening of my current work, and over the course of a month the responses haven't been pleasing. Everyone thinks it's a good idea and likes the presentation but no one purchases a print. So, the stress builds as I worry about funding and income. Funding your own show with no sponsors or financial help can get expensive. Although it's been an extreme learning experience, I now find my self a little disoriented. What now!!? How do I bounce back!!!? Should I go back to school!!!? Am I not capable of becoming a photographer who lives off of his passion....? So many questions come to mind as I sit here typing and realizing that if my work doesn't sell within a couple of years, I might just have to file for bankruptcy. That's an honest realization and a frightening one at that.
On a better note; I do have a little girl now that I must live and breathe for. Even when I'm sick or in the worse of pain from working a job that I loath, she has become is my muse, my inspiration, and my salvation.
On the positive side of all this chaos would be that I also have a very supportive girlfriend who stands by my side after all of the horrid and foolish things that I have put her through. She remains my muse, my inspiration, and salvation. My girlfriend is the greatest being that I have ever met and I love her with all of my heart.
My baby girl was born on December 4th of last year. Her name is Keira Page Thomas and she is the greatest thing that I have ever seen. Her mother is Caucasian so the baby has creamy mocha skin and amazing blue eyes. I'm a black man and my daughter has blue eyes, how crazy is that? Things have been really rocky with her mother and I and because of this I certainly don't get to see her as much as I would like. The birth of my baby girl has changed my life in every way.
As for the week, it started out great. Monday I spent some time with my little girl and although Monday was a success, Friday was a different story. On Friday I ask my daughter's mother if I could have the baby for a couple of hours and surprisingly she agreed. I was over-joyed!!! This was the first time that her mother had ever let me have Keira alone to myself... This was turning out to be a very good day! Unfortunatly it didn't turn out as well as I had planned. Long story short, Keira's mother was angry because of her own reasons and after she picked her up from me, she called to say that she was "forbidding me to see my daughter again." Other horrible events occured that night that I would rather not elaborate, but all in all it was one of the worst nights of my life.
I have a plan.... This plan includes me refusing to not be active in my daughter life. I didn't have a father and I EVENTUALLY came out all right. She will not be a victim of that too. She's an innocent child and a child needs both of their parents. My girlfriend always says "No detail (personal or impersonal) is important as long as the well being and saftey of the child is always maintained"....... She couldn't be more right.
Now, it has become my life's work to be the greatest father that ever lived. I'm prepared and ready for every frustrating cry, every broken bone, or every horrible boy that comes along and breaks her heart.... I WILL be there!
This is it! This is the most significant turning point of my life and I have made an oath to myself and others around me: I will be a good person who loves and cares for my family and significant other the way that they deserve, I will be a better man and most importantly, an awesome dad.
wkt
Keira's birth
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